hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
