He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
