Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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