But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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