i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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