I feel like abortions should bother me more
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
