rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
