Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
