I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
