The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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