some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
