so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
