I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We have so much sex to catch up on
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
