Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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