Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
