is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize