I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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