apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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