He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize