yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
