"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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