3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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