That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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