You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
