Small penises have feelings too.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
