using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
