I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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