wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
