i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
