it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
