i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
ttyl tear gas
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
