You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
