he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You have to summon your inner elephant
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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