I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
