we're chasing vodka with high fives
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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