I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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