I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
