I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
