Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize