Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
