i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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