No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
