i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
