omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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