Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
