Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize