it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize