is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
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I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
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So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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