Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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