at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
