that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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