She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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