summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
