The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
