Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
