all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize